We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
