Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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