I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
