Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
