This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
