I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
