Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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