I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
