She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
