He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
