ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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