Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
ttyl tear gas
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
