um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sorry about my life...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
