that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
