Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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