The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
