Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
