She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Fuck appropriateness.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
