Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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