Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
