and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
