i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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