He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize