He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
