He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
