The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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