I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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