I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is wine microwaveable?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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