I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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