are you so shy because you have an std?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
