i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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