Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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