I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
