Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
