woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
