either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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