if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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