he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
