:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
