a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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