i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
