I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Someone stole a lamp last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
