you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
