I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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