Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize