hell yes lets make some ravioli
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize