Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Randomize
