I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize