You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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