32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
