You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
