I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize