I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Be still, my beating vagina.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
