I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
honey bunches of taint.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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