Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
