i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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